The only time you should be able to pardon yourself is if you fart. But even then you still may not be popular.
You know what’s weird? I’ve yet to be in a bar and overhear someone say, “You know who would be a good president? Bobby Jindal.” I mean not even with the really drunk people.
The republican primary list of candidates looks like a half eaten bag of mixed nuts or Skittles. It’s all Brazil nuts and green Skittles left. It doesn’t matter. Nobody wants them. Just pick one. There aren’t any good ones left in the bag.