The Phoenix Rises

A PEACE Of My Mind!

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Latest News Developments

Witches have now demanded that Disney pull “Into The Woods” set to open Christmas Day or else they’ve threatened to use spells.


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My Jokes For Today

This Thanksgiving, I’d be thankful if I could get the f’n annoying Taylor Swift tune outta me head!

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that I have a low sperm count so I don’t have any child support to pay.

I said to her, ‘Are you alright?’ She said, ‘Sure. Why do you ask?’ I said, ‘Cause you’re getting f’n weird right now.’ My court date is on Thursday.

Even a pretty flower can stink. Have you ever smelled Nasturtium? Pew! And Natalie didn’t fair much better.

It’s great to see that the Tea Party finally rallied and organized protests of 100,000’s of thousands of angry citizens, in 100’s of cities across America against ObamaCare!

If Bill Cosby hurts for money from all this, he can always do the sequel, “Mother, Juggs, & Speed 2”

You’re looking forward to Thanksgiving? I’ll check back with you, when you’re seated next to your in-laws!

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A Real Hunger Game

I have a plan to solve both the immigration, over crowding of prisons, and Middle East terrorists problems. It’s called the “Hunger Games Amnesty, Pardon, and Forgiveness Plan”. If you want to gain citizenship or a prison pardon, we give you a shitload of weapons and dump you in the Middle East. If you kill the bad guys over there, we let you live here for free with full U.S. Citizen benefits.

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RIP Robin

In shock. Met Robin Williams sooo many times in my early 20’s in New York City. He was alway accessible, kind and generous towards me with his time as I would try out new jokes and comedy bits on him for his opinion. He was always kind and caring with people when I was around him… I am so very sad right now. I just thought he was such a great guy… And of course, so funny……… Sick to my stomach right now.