Sound Advice For Living

Here is a piece of useful advice I would like to offer you, that I have learned in life.

Have you ever found yourself in a confrontation or situation you wanted to end or get out of? Maybe someone one asked you a question that was uncomfortable or awkward to answer? Maybe you wanted to totally avoid a question or a situation that you were involved in?
Well, there is a way out of it. Not only quickly, not only safely, but also dignified.

Faint.

You heard me correctly. Faint. When such a traumatic event arrives, you can avoid the panic, the awkwardness, the uncomfortableness, and the situation completely, in an immediate response. Faint.

Someone is asking you a question you’re afraid to answer. Someone is confronting you about something you want to avoid. And you are afraid of an awkward answer or situation arising. Faint. Just pretend to faint, and fall.

It’s okay to be cowardly if know one else knows it.

As soon as you fall down to the ground, the person or persons will rush to your aid to help you. They will ask you if you’re okay. They will be deeply concerned about you, and their only focus will be on you, your health, and your well being. They will instantly forget the conversation they had with you. Why? Because you just fell over. Because it is not as important as you passing out and falling to the floor. And you can pretend to be unconscious on the floor as long as you’d like. Sometimes I lay there for 20 minutes. I may even moan a little to make sure that the other person or persons are focused on me.

The first thing they are going to ask is, if you are alright. Then they may even ask if you need a glass of water. They probably will ask if you need an ambulance or a doctor. But you will say that you’re okay, and just need some air. Only if the altercation or discussion is of a very serious nature to you, should you let them call an ambulance. This works well, if you were about to be accused of a crime.

As you get up off the ground, all attention and focus is on and about you. You will suggest that you need to go home and get some rest for whatever bull***t reason. They may offer to drive you home, but you will need to turn that down to avoid giving them a chance to remember what they were talking with you about before you fainted, and you will need to go home to better prepare yourself for the next time the problem/situation/confrontation/question comes up again.

To surmise, this life plan of action works. It honestly never fails. You might even get flowers, or at least a get well card out of it.

It works for me. I have used this plan for the last 30 years, and I find it to be extremely useful. Take it from me. I use it as a fallback, failsafe, and goto, at least 5-15 times a year.