A friend of mine just got fired. He was a bit upset. It was the best thing that has happened to him in five years.
The job sucked for him. The pay was okay. But the hours were long and the work itself was tedious. He was miserable with the job. He is in his mid fifties.
Why was it good he got fired? Because I had worked along side him for almost as many years. I listened to him bitch and complain every day about the job and the company. I needed to talk to him when I heard the news. What did I say?
The first thing I did was congratulate him. Really. I did. Then I explained to him why it was a blessing. This is what I told him.
He needed to be HAPPY. He was brought up in a different time, where you were taught by society to get a job, and stay with it. If it had benefits, all the better. You only leave if you get something better.
I told him most companies now a days want and expect loyalty from their employees, but do not and are not expected to reciprocate.
The first order of loyalty you owe is to yourself. To be HAPPY. Happy for yourself, for your life, and then for others. Enjoy yourself, your life, and what you do. If you don’t, what do you have?
Many people become complacent. Complacent in their lives, complacent, in their jobs, complacent with UNHAPPINESS. It is a safe place for them because its what they know, and what they expect. They are afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. Meaning, what they DON’T KNOW.
I told my friend that I listened to him for years discuss quitting, and even at times threaten to quit. I told him the universe, gave him the push he needed, the push he was too scared to give himself, and that this was a hidden blessing. I told him that he knows what it takes to make himself happy at his age, and now it was time. And not be scared, but be HAPPY. Happy at the opportunities that await him. At fifty plus years, I asked him, where all these jobs he had in his life got him him? At the end of the day. All that hard work through the years. It paid his bills and nothing more. Because now he had no job, not a lot of savings to retire off of, and no real happiness and joy. I reminded him that as humans we are given survival instincts, and that all we NEED is food, shelter, and clothing. Everything else is just gravy. What we SEEK beyond that, in survival is comfort. Comfort through love, peace, and happiness.
I told him to go out and be HAPPY. Find a job he liked. That money was okay, but not the be all and end all. That being happy at the job he would take would be a part of his overall happiness. I explained that I had a relative that just went through a divorce. And that relative had a nice big home with a swimming pool. And he lost half of everything he worked for in the divorce, so he had to put in longer hours to get it back, and had to work on the road with his job so much, that he only spent DAYS out of the month enjoying his home and swimming pool.
Material objects do not make you happy in the long run, because you don’t NEED them. They can be for convenience, and can be fun, but you don’t NEED them. Count your blessings if you have them, but you don’t NEED them.
I got divorced, lost my house, and quit my job. I was miserable about my divorce. But I knew I needed to be happy. The house was part of my marriage. It cost me a lot of money, and a lot of money to maintain. But for me, I enjoy entertaining. I am an actor, writer, and comedian. It brings me great joy to entertain people and make them happy. Then I’m happy. So I gave up where I was living, and my job, to go back full time to doing what brings me great joy. I moved back to Los Angeles, and I couldn’t be happier right now. I spent six years in a place I didn’t care for to make someone else happy, that I gave up my happiness. And at the end of the day, I could not make them happy, and they left. And left me in a place I didn’t want to be in. So I left. I was gonna go back to doing what I like to be doing. If it buys me another house that I can deal with in my life, fine. But if not, then forget it. It’s not about the money. Money comes, money goes. My happiness was always presented by what I was doing at the moment, and who I was with. Sometimes I had money in those moments in my life, sometimes I was dirt poor. But the money NEVER dictated my happiness. I love swimming, and sailing. I enjoy the ocean and going to the beach. I DON’T need money to do that. Just for the margarita I buy at sunset.
I told my friend to make time for himself now. That he is older and wiser. That half his life is gone. What will he do, knowing what he knows now, for the second half of his life? What exactly is his foundation that he built in over fifty years, that he will build off of now that he is free from a job that bogged him down. Now that he has so little, he is so free. Nothing to tie him down of material things, nothing mentally or spiritually to hold him to a place he didn’t want anyway? I told him, to go live his life, and live it fully in a mental and spiritual capacity. That he deserved it. But he had to feel he deserved it enough to do something about it. Misery loves company. People will try to pull him back to the wrong ways of thinking. I told him not to listen to them. Listen to his inner voice. The real voice. The positive one that wants love and happiness. And go seek it. It’s not far if you really look for it. All you have to do is open your eyes and your heart. You know it’s true. It’s right in front of you if you push the obstacles away from your view that they are blocking. And, I told him, maybe you might need to cut people who are nay sayers from your life. Or at least compartmentalize where you keep them in your life as far as closeness. They maybe family members. They maybe friends you love dearly. But negativity is poisonous. Keep that away from you as much as you can. You are only as good as the company that you keep. Surround your self with positive people, surround your self with the doers, surround your self with only those whom you respect and admire, and let their positive traits influence you, then you will be far richer in your life, than your bank account mattering.
The last thing I told him on our phone call was this: Go out to a bar. Order ONE beer or drink. Not to get drunk. Only ONE. Take the first sip. Savor it in your mouth. Really taste it. Swallow. Hold the drink up and salute yourself. Say, “Here’s to me, and my future.” (Because your future is WIDE open right now. Pick the road you want to enjoy going down). Make sure to savor that celebratory drink. Then when you get done with the drink, go to a movie theater by your self right after. Sit and watch a movie, alone. Forget everything in your life. Enjoy the movie, it’s someone else’s vision/story. Maybe go for a walk after the movie. Then come home. Your mind will be cleared. Take a shower. Then read or watch TV, and go to bed. I bet, I just bet, that after you do all that, in the morning, you will be ready to take on the world in a more positive manner… For your future. A HAPPY future!
May Peace, Love, and Happiness find you in 2015!
December 31,2014 (Soon to be yesterday)