I hate when people ask me how I am. “How are you?” “How are you doing today?” Such intrusive questions. Invasive. Forcing me into my corners of self reflection, against my will. I mean who are you, my shrink? How about, “Hi! I hope no one ticks you off today, and if they do, I hope they die of syphilis, and I hope you win the lottery, and I hope when you fart, rainbows fly out of your ass!” That would be a much better greeting, in my humble opinion.